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ARMS RACE

When Pigs Sing is struggling with kids -- or as she puts it, kids' hands -- that simply cannot remember where to turn in assignments:

"Don't you want my paper?" it insisted. I kindly took it by the hand and walked it over to the wire basket. I pointed. It deposited the paper and walked back to its chair. That was when I felt another paper being thrust at me. And that's when I went off the deep end and personally carried the wire basket from child to child introducing it to each student. And that's how all the children came to think that I'm certifiable. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for some family conversations at dinner tonight.

Of course, if the kids couldn't remember where to put their classwork minutes after being told, there's not much chance they'd remember their nice new teacher making them greet an inanimate metal object hours later. Besides, what parent would believe them?

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