GRAB THE SHOVEL!
Administrators sometimes like to call bits and pieces of documented student work "artifacts," presumably because they provide direct evidence that their kids are learning. But at Ms. Smlph's school, the name fits because they're apparently dug up at the last minute.
At the end of the meeting, our school's three administrators, one of whom was only a PE teacher two weeks ago, stood up and plead for "artifacts," useless pieces of evidence they could stuff into a binder to present to the school district. It turns out this binder was supposed to be at the office at noon yesterday, and by the time the meeting had ended, it was 4pm. The administrators were so flustered, running around like chickens with their heads cut off, scrambling for data, papers, and anything that might show teachers at our school are actually doing something.
It was hilarious to see all of this going on out in the open instead of behind closed doors.