California ELL teacher TMAO posts his goals for his recent South American jaunt to Peru, along with the outcomes of each. (You read that right: TMAO had goals for his vacation.) One of which, to ride an alpaca, was not as easy as it sounded: "They are, however, delicious. Much like veal without that guilty feeling."

But what teacher travels without bringing back the goods for the kids? To wit, goal #4:

Return with Incan artifacts suitable for use in 6th and 7th grade social studies classrooms.
Not so much. I did learn that "Inca" referred only to the individual ruler, as in Qushfasfj was the 3rd Inca; while the common people were known as Quetcha.

Goal #7 was similarly lofty:

Free that fluent Spanish speaker that has been imprisoned within me all this time, desperately waiting for a moment of true immersion to burst into triumphant living flame like the phoenix of legend.

Um, that didn't happen either.

But forget all that. TMAO finally gets down wi' it:

Cavort with local women.
See, this isn't as it easy as it sounds, given the Wall that exists between locals and tourists, as well as my lack of fluency in the universal language of dance. There was, however, one captivating woman from Arequipa who I invited to California no fewer than six times, using at least six different pretexts. We'll see how that one turns out.

Who told you teaching was easy, TMAO?

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