Coaches spend a lot of time thinking about communication--about how we listen and ask questions. We know that coaching happens in conversations and that we need to pay acute attention to the words we use. I am a big believer in planning coaching conversations, in scripting them out ahead of time--I know this results in conversations that tend to be more intentional and strategic. In this post I want to offer a few suggestions for how changing a few words we use can be transformational in coaching conversations.
I receive a lot of questions about how to address emotional intelligence (EQ) and build emotional resilience in coachees. For example, whenever I share the "Gaps" framework, I'm asked, "How can I coach the emotional intelligence gaps that I've identified in my client?" Coaches have to address emotions if we're going to help a client make meaningful, sustainable changes in his or her behaviors, beliefs, and being.
The ten tips that Brené Brown offers for giving feedback are transformational. I offer my own tips for giving feedback in my book--and they're foundational and very helpful for when working with teachers. But Brown's suggestions could push the act of giving feedback into a whole new realm.
Jennifer, an educator from the Midwest, recently asked Twitter users for advice on how to become an instructional coach. I know this is the time of year when many are exploring different positions for next year, and so I thought I'd share my response here.
I got a coaching related question this morning from an unexpected place--from my husband who is a high school art teacher. As I rushed around the kitchen preparing breakfast and packing my lunch, he asked me if I could think of any online source that offered tips for facilitating meetings.
Teachers can't be expected to become the brilliant master educators our kids need them to be without 10,000 hours of practice with someone they really trust (and who plays no role in their evaluation) who will give them critical feedback along the way...My primary mission these days is to convince those who hold power in our schools that teachers and administrators deserve and need coaches throughout their careers
This concept--the Spheres of Control--posits that the things we're worried about or that we complain about fall into three domains: things we have control over, things we can influence, and things that are outside of our control and influence. When I hear a coachee talking about something that he is unhappy about, I listen through this framework and try to identify where this issue would fall.
The very concept of a New Year's resolution is central to coaching: resolutions are intentions to make change, shift behaviors, and improve our lives. Good ideas, but I don't make New Year's resolutions.
This week I have a guest blogger for you, Laurelin Andrade, offering a wise and insightful reflection on the pace of coaching.
Here's a startling fact: some sixty-five percent of what we communicate is conveyed through our body language, pitch, volume, and tone of voice. The words we select (sometimes so carefully and thoughtfully) only comprise around thirty percent of the message that our audience receives.