To: Miss Shyu

Dear wiser teachers,

How do I teach self control? My students have taught me so much over the past two years, but it seems like it’s never enough. I know to teach self control explicitly and kindly. I know to be stern and to identify self-controlling moments as they happen. I know to ask students self-reflecting questions to help them reconsider an action.

But it’s never enough. How do I teach children with behavior disorders to control their cruel words, their abusive actions, their self-hatred? How do I teach all children to be nice? I think we’ve cultivated a pretty strong culture in my classrooms, but it’s never enough. I never asked her to write this. I just found it sitting on my desk two hours after I wrote her up for hitting another student on the head. I know she didn’t really mean to hit him, but she just did. How do I help her to teach herself control so she can stop apologizing?